Rants and Ranks

I had just turned 12 years old when Chris Farley died.  I was utterly blown away when I found out it was due to a drug overdose.  Growing up, you are taught that only bad people do drugs.  How could this funny man be on drugs?  Well, that was one of my first cruel life experiences teaching me that good people do drugs too.  I always enjoyed Farley back then, and honestly, I think I enjoy him even more now.  So naturally I jumped at the chance to read this biography.  Obviously I was dreading getting to the end, kind of like when you watched Titanic for the first time, but all the hilarious stories leading up to that totally made it worth it.  The setup is a bit different, but makes it more interesting I think.  Essentially, they interviewed friends and family, then put it in order chronologically based on the topic.  It's interesting to read a paragraph from David Spade, then Chris Rock or whoever.  It flows really well, so it's...

Wrestlemania is fast approaching, and it got me thinking.  It will be sad to have the biggest event of the year without HBK wrestling.  Could he make a surprise appearance?  Yeah, probably, since he is being inducted into the Hall of Fame, but without him wrestling, Wrestlemania feels a tad incomplete.  It was either '05 or '06 HBK started calling himself "Mr. Wrestlemania."  Some thought it was stupid, (because they thought that should be Undertaker's nickname, but unlike Taker, Shawn almost always delivers at Wrestlemania) but is there a more accurate nickname?  Out of Shawn's Wrestlemania matches only a slim minority are not the best match on the show.  Gee, maybe we can call him the "Showstoppa" because after his match is done, there really is no point in watching the rest of the card.  Oh, wait we already do.  (And "The Headliner," and "The Main Event" for good measure.)  Who will stop the show this year?  I will debate th...

"This book is my bible."  That's what a friend told me when describing this book.  That's an interesting thought.  The friend has numerous sports books, and insisted that I read this one.  Being somewhat of a bookworm, I figured it would be at least worth the read.  Holy crap am I glad that I did. The author of the book is Bill Simmons, a writer for ESPN.  http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/simmons/index  You can tell he is passionate to say the least.  Need proof?  The book is 700 pages long.  (More on that later.)  Anyone familiar with Simmons should know that the book is in the same style of writing as his columns (more on that later too) just extended times about 3,456.    I plowed through this epic in 13 days.  So pretty much 54 pages of very small type and footnotes (he's the king of footnotes) a day.  "So you want me to read a 700 page book?  Are you freakin' crazy?!?"  I know tha...

I have a friend who will not text people.  It's not that he doesn't know how to do it, or his phone won't allow it.  He just says texting "is dumb."  If you send him one asking him a question, or anything that needs a reply, he will just call you back.  At first I thought it was strange, but the more I thought about it, he's on to something, at least in theory.  Think about all the stupid things we do with texting.  1. You have a two hour text conversation, whereas if you would have just called the person it would have been over in five minutes.  2. Someone calls you, you miss it, and just text them back asking what they want, like they're not good enough for a call.  3. Or the worst one of all.  You do call someone, they don't answer, You hang up, then text them saying, "Hey I just called you!"  Absolutely ridiculous.  Don't even get me started on the scenario when you're texting someone who doesn't spell very well, and th...

 SLAM released this magazine recently, and I'm sure it will stir up all sorts of debate.  (They had to play a minimum of 5 years, so studs like Durant, Rose, Rondo, and Griffin didn't make the cut, but got special mention that they would have made the list if they had 5 seasons under their belt.)  I love lists, countdowns, etc. and this is no different.  It got me thinking about how I would rank them, but first here is a rundown of the top 20: 1. Michael Jordan 2. Wilt Chamberlain 3. Bill Russell 4. Shaq 5. Oscar Robertson 6. Magic 7. Kareem 8. Tim Duncan 9. Larry Bird 10. Kobe 11. Jerry West 12. Elgin Baylor 13. Hakeem 14. Bob Pettit 15. Moses Malone 16. Dr. J 17. John Havlicek 18. Karl Malone 19. Isiah Thomas 20. Charles Barkley For anyone wondering, Lebron is number 31, Wade is 49, Iverson is 40, and Garnett is 30; just to mention a few of the current players who will someday be Hall of Famers. My first thought is that they should break it down by position....